The Key to Confidence and Self-Esteem
What do we need to do to build our confidence?
Confidence is key for our businesses, our jobs and our personal lives.
It's to do with our inner messages - the things we tell ourselves, about ourselves. Our thoughts and feelings and our inner images.
We need positive Black role models - images that reflect us positively. That's why I publish More Black Success.
When you walk into a room full of people you don’t know, do you feel comfortable to go up to someone and start a conversation?
The important thing is to do something about it.
We Need to Heal
Many groups of people, including Black people/people of African heritage, people of Colour, white women, gay people and people with disabilities, have problems around self-esteem and confidence because this society does not support our having high self-esteem. We have historically been treated as second-class citizens, marginalised and ignored. I expect that the election of President Obama has gone some way to address some of these inequities, but we still have a long way to go. .
As people of African heritage, we were taught to hate ourselves. That's why we often find so much conflict within Black groups and organisations. It's why there is sometimes so much distrust between African people. When you see Black people tearing each other apart, and when we engage in that kind of behaviour ourselves, this is one of the reasons. We are very wounded and we need to heal these wounds. See also: Healing Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome and Healing Our Relationships.
For more about some of the ways we have been taught to hate ourselves historically, and how they are still affecting us today, click here for my analysis of 12 Years a Slave.
It’s important to remember, though, that ways in which we have been oppressed are not the only reasons why that we carry our negative self-images. We have often chosen to believe, or buy into, those negative stories. We have internalised them and made them a part of us. And we are the only people who can rewrite our stories.
I’ve got lots of methods that will support and help you with this in my ebook What They Don’t Want Us to Know.
Beautiful, Healthy Hair and Skin
One of the ways we have been taught to hate ourselves is in the area of our hair and skin. The market bulges with products that are supposed to make us more "beautiful", but in fact change the colour, texture and length of our hair. Many of our sisters use hair that was grown on the heads of people of other races. We are suffering from a collective inferiority complex. We have a lot of healing to do. See also: Black Hair Care: From Korea to Your Neighbourhood.
You Deserve Love
You have an unique vision. It is not your parents' vision. It is not your teachers', or your children's, or your students', or your employers'. Your vision may overlap with other people's. But it is yours.
On the day you were born, the forces of the universe came together to create a unique and mysterious moment - the moment of your birth.
There is nobody else like you. You have an unique contribution to make. You may already be aware of your unique gift. Even if you're not, you know what it is. Deep down inside, you know.
You deserve to be loved, cherished and adored. In order to attract the loving, supportive relationships you want and deserve, you first need to love and appreciate yourself.
Reprogramming the Unconscious Mind
The unconscious mind is very powerful.
You need to give your unconscious mind an instruction to help you become more aware of your achievements and your positive qualities.
Sometimes, I have students who claim “That’s not a success!” when I remind them of things they have achieved, like learning to walk and talk, and learning to read and write. They are telling themselves negative stories about their successes.
It’s time to rewrite your story.
And remember, when you learned to walk, you fell down and got up. Over and over again. And in doing this, you demonstrated some remarkable qualities. Like your persistence and your courage.
When recalling your past actions and decisions, it’s also important to remember that everything you did was an attempt to meet a need.
For more information, see the resources listed below.
I am sure you will find them valuable and helpful in raising your confidence for your business and for all of your life.
Here’s to your success!
Publisher and Transformational Growth Consultant
Copyright © Zhana 2008-2014
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
See also: The Key to Financial Prosperity